i keep thinking i'll hit rock bottom
but i just keep sinking down.

i keep thinking i'll make it big
but i'm still playing in town.

i thought i might get married
and even have another kid.

i thought it might turn out
better than all the others did.

i keep wondering if it's worth
all this shit.

i keep wondering if i can take
another hit.

i know i'm punch-drunk and weary
and wobbling at the knees.

i know a stiff wind
might topple my trees.

i need just a little peace
or a break in the storm.

i need a little R and R
where the weather is warm.

i hope it happens pretty
darn quick.

i hope i'll get better
and quit feeling sick.

i stay up all night and
write everything down.

i stay at my friend's places
and sleep on the ground.

i try to be positive
but it's so fucking tough.

i try to be nice
but it's never enough.

i'm tired of clearing all these books
off the shelf.

i'm tired of it all,
but mostly of myself.


happy happy joy joy,

scott