A Few Truths about Life that I learned from parties:

1. One out of every five people lives with a ghost.

2. Almost everyone hated high school.

3. I am funnier than almost everyone.

4. Everyone knows someone who broke their legs jumping off of a house onto a trampoline then into a pool.

5. Everyone loves Willie Nelson.

6. Women who smoke are more likely to put out.

7. Someone is related to Davy Crockett.

8. Whoever drives the nicest car is an asshole.

9. A bong can be made from practically anything.

10. I am smarter than almost everyone.