nice ryder cup.

i want to congratulate all of the united states team members on one of the worst performances in ryder cup history.

our number 1, 2, and 3 players in the world went a combined 5-9-1.

way to go, guys. awesome.

the only american with any heart at all is oklahoma state alum, scott verplank. he went an undefeated 2-0 and should have obviously played in every single fucking match. he also recorded the only ace in united states ryder cup history. he also dips copenhagen.

i am so disappointed in phil mickelson that it is hard for me to even mention his name. 0-4-1. absolutely pathetic. Go make another commercial now, motherfucker.

jim furyk's turtleheaded having motherfucking ass went 2-3 with tiger woods as a partner 4 times. nice job ichabod.

i have been doing some thinking about the ryder cup and what we need to do to regain it. i believe we should host the 2008 ryder cup at augusta national. Tiger and Phil go a combined 10-0 and we win the ryder cup 23-5. i don't know if those elitist racist pricks in georgia will go for it, but if we get our ass kicked about three more times like these last two, they just might.

the ryder cup is my absolute favorite sporting event to watch and i endured almost 24 hours of t.v. time watching that unmerciful flogging.

if i was anyone on that team other than scott verplank, i wouldn't leave my house for 3 months. or i should say, i wouldn't leave my fucking mansion for 3 months.

i've decided that i am going to have to try and qualify for the ryder cup next time.

captain's pick,

scott