as i walked down another super wal-mart aisle, it came to me.

"what the fuck am i doing here?", my innermost being said.

i left vowing never to return.

i'll eventually need some mach 3 turbo razors and tiger woods 2007, though.

that's where i'm drawing my line in the sand.

across this line, you do not cross.

and something else happened. it was a glorious, magnicent, incredible, fantastic, exalting sight to behold but i forgot what it was because i was under hypnosis at the time. and then the poison ivy broke out. much scratching ensued. but it was only a precursor to the shit that followed. but even that was irrelevant.

happy birthday madison.

you're not supposed to read this until you're 21 years old.

i love you,

scott