i was reading the yahoo page and there was an article called, "Tell Bono how to end world poverty".

i love contests.

i entered.

two words.

MASS SUICIDE.

i don't know what i'm gonna win, but i hope it's not a fucking chance to meet bono.

(insert segue here)

i'm jim adler. the texas tough smart lawyer.

yeah whatever jim. nice commercial.

can we please get back to "Family Feud", for christ's sake?

(insert another segue) that's pronounced segway for all you jim adler clients.

Perry Mason vs. Matlock.

who would you take to defend you in a murder trial? tough question, scott.

my answer is fourfold.
or maybe threefold.
or maybe ben folds five.

A. i would definitely take matlock in a southern setting.
B. if i was guilty, i wouldn't take either one of those cocksuckers. i would call donnell, frutt, young, and berlutti.
C. this part of the fourfold is actually just the letter C.
D. i'm writing a song called "flipper was from florida"

so there, motherfucker.


i would like to announce i will be doing an acoustic gig at Fred's tomorrow on the patio from 7-10. i love playing there. there will be a fireworks demonstration in my mind shortly after the show.

on your marks.
get set.

smoke a bowl,

scott