what a glorious glorious day it is indeed. glory be to god. glory be to jesus.

praise jesus.

welcome ye fellow hethens to another edition of the church of scott's thoughts.
you know you missed it.

give it up, give it up.

me: Please, sit down. no, really. thank you. thank you very much. it's great to be back.

i am talking to the imaginary audience that is somehow always watching me in his mind. i mean my mind.

but getting to the point.

pause for tom petty.

let's get to the point. let's roll another joint.

papa was a rollin' stone. wherever he laid his hat was his home.

that last part wasn't tom petty but you know what i'm sayin'.

it is important at this time that i have something to say worthwhile or otherwise i am just blabbing away for no reason whatsoever but then again i don't give a fuck so forget everything i just said and let's try to get back to the point.

the point of no return.

surprisingly enough, a pretty good movie with bridget fonda.

which brings us back around to the da vinci code.

tom hank's hair is ridiculous. i refuse to see it for that reason alone.

i was listening to a christian radio station the other day and i started thinking about becoming a christian artist. i'm only gonna write gospel songs and go perform with deion sanders and shit on one of those religious channels. i can see it now.

Scene:

oral roberts son: "ladies and gentlemen, this man was a former heroin addicted, pot-smoking, porn-lovin, foul-mouthed, woman-beatin', whiskey sluggin', beer-drinkin', hell-raisin' hethen. he served time in prison and it is there where he found jesus. his songs used to be strictly about weed and other stupid shit like that but now that jesus is number one in his life he writes and sings only jesus type songs. so without further adoo-doo, the one and only scott copeland."

i walk on stage with armed with an acoustic guitar.

me: "here's a brand new song."

hey Jesus, did they cut your penis
or did you have an anteater dick?
cause i knew this fool back in school
who had one and it was sick.

hey mother mary, were your pits hairy
or did you shave them with a rock
and after jesus was a fetus
did you cut off part of his cock?

if i had a chorus it would be glorious
but jesus hasn't sung it to me yet.
i think jesus had an anteater dick
what do you wanna bet.


thank you and goodnight.

life's a dick joke and don't forget it,

scott