this post is for all those young would-be songwriters out there who may be looking for a little advice and direction...

i'm just the guy to give it to you.

the straight scoop.

no bullshit.

here it goes....


Dear Songwriter person,

Do not quit your real job. These people are way worse than anyone you have ever dealt with at your real job. They won't pay you what they told you they would. They'll steal your songs right out from under your nose and make you feel like they're doing you a favor. They talk shit about everyone. but only behind their backs, of course. They spend hours picking out what they're going to wear. They all know everything about everything. They market their shit on a daily basis. they always wonder what everyone else is thinking. They will sell their soul for a little fame any day of the week and twice on sundays. if they think it will help them in their careers at all, they would fuck their own mothers. they spend no time at all coming up with original thoughts. they'll do all your drugs and tell everyone you're a drug addict. they all say fuck, cunt, cocksucker, and goddamn 99 times a day, but tell everyone you have no class because you said "cunt" on stage. They all wanna play your weed songs, but don't smoke pot.
if they are talking to you and someone else they deem more important comes by, don't expect them to continue talking to you. Everyone you've ever met in your life expects free shit all the time and knows exactly what you should or shouldn't have done with your career.

in conclusion,

happy songwriting,

scott