i got a dog last week.

i've been wanting one for about two years.

my friend works at a vet clinic and called me because i asked her to keep her eye out for a low-key type dog. she said she found one for me.

half beagle, half bassett hound.

she was about to executed with lethal injection.

i named her "Bimbo".

she loves to chew up shoes and shit and piss everywhere. i love her so much.

she gets along with miss kitty very well. sometimes they argue over who gets to lay on my fat gut. it's very soft and comfortable.

bimbo is looking at me right now. she's wondering what the fuck i'm doing.

i spend most of my days now talking in some kind of baby dog voice.

(in baby dog voice)

"bimbo, no. bimbo, come. bimbo,no. good girl, bimbo. you need to potty. bimbo, wanna go outside. no, bimbo. bad girl, bimbo."

it doesn't matter, though.

she can piss all over my clothes and i'll still like her better than people.

word,

scott