i apologize for not returning any important emails lately. the computer crashed and we're waiting for some parts. i'm on a friend's computer now. i had 82 unanswered emails.

of course, 5 were from porn sites, i won 2 more lotteries in the u.k., 8 people want me to sign as a beneficiary to inherit 80 million dollars, 4 were from phil mickelson's fan club, and 3 were from BMG music.

fuck em all.

i also apologize to anyone that showed up to see me in college station. there was some kind of mix up. it seems that they only wanted me if i could do a songswap with mike mcclure or cody canada. i guess they couldn't get ahold of them or something.

they don't call me back either.

looking on the bright side, it's the first time i've been paid to not show up. thanks corbin. i appreciate your help.

anyways...

i feel like i have so much to talk about.

but yet, i really don't.

i think i'm gonna change my cellphone message today.

no, fuck that.

maybe I'll go to the dollar store. maybe take bimbo to the park. maybe go to a matinee. maybe play golf. maybe watch basketball. maybe mow the yard. maybe not. maybe clip my toenails. maybe drink beer. maybe play stratego. maybe chunk rocks into the trinity river. maybe make fart noises with my back on the bathroom floor. maybe paint my face in clown make-up and start calling myself chongo. maybe climb on the roof and moon a satellite. maybe listen to frank zappa and read andy rooney. maybe throw darts at my reflection. maybe write a country song called "I wish you loved me as much as I do". maybe spit sunflower seeds into the toilet and eat watermelon. maybe fill up the bathtub and hold my head underwater for forty-five minutes and breathe through a crazy straw. maybe go fishing for sharks in the lake. maybe build a rocketship in my brain and shoot it out my ass. maybe i'll shave my face with a hatchet that i sharpened up way out in the boondocks. maybe i won't say boondocks anymore. maybe i'll make up the bed. maybe i'll make up my mind.


maybe i won't,

scott

p.s. i've already copyrighted that song title, so don't any of you shitty ass bands on myspace start getting any ideas. thievin' bastards.