welcome to the 11:00 service. i hope you will all remain standing as we sing from our hymnals on page 4. "you can call me Al".

a man walks down the street
he says why am i soft in the middle
why am i so soft in the middle
when the rest of my life is so hard

(women only.)

i need a photo oppurtunity
i want a shot at reademption
don't want to end up a cartoon
in a cartoon graveyard.

(men only.)

Bonedigger Bonedigger
dogs in the moonlight
far away my well lit door

(women.)

Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
get these mutts away from me
you know i don't find this stuff amusing anymore.

okay you may sit down.


today's sermon will cover Matthew 7:1

"judge not lest ye be judged."

ye. ye. ye.

we should bring back the word "ye".

how ye doing?
fuck ye.
ye must be crazy or something.
ye ain't shit.
ye can go to hell.
all ye can talk about is ye.
ye can't always get what ye want.

ye. ye. ye. ye. ye.

enough about ye. let's talk about me.
what does ye think about me?


i'm listening to some paul simon.
true greatness.

just jump out the back jack
make a new plan stan
don't need to be coy roy
just listen to me.

you can hop on the bus gus
don't need to discuss much
just drop off the key lee
and set yourself free.

i gotta go.

ye be cool.

mofo's,

scott