i'm going to try this for the last time....

the very last time...

i don't even know what this has become. i sit here typing like it means a goddamn something. but it doesn't. it means shit. absolute and complete and utter shit.

i have even started checking how many hits a day i get.

can you believe that?

i have become everything that i used to despise. i'm the goddamn frat boy running for student council. i'm the local high school garage band trying to get votes in the 'battle of the bands'. i'm a disgrace. i hate myself.

what fucking difference does it matter how many motherfuckers read my thoughts a day?

none.

it happens to be about a thousand a day, but that doesn't matter.

one thousand people a day check in to scott's thoughts to see what insight i might have to share.

but that doesn't matter.

1000 people.

does it really matter that that is more than jim jones coerced into committing suicide in jonestown, guyana?

does it really matter that 1000 people decide every single day to check and see if i have blathered on about something?

does it really matter that the number of people that read my thoughts daily is in the 4 digit range?

does it really matter that i control the thoughts of 1000 people daily?

i don't know.

drink koolaid,

scott