god, i hate people...

people with those little fucking cellphones permanently stuck in their goddamn little ears. walking around like their lives are so fucking much more important than the rest of us that they must have a phone sticking out of their head because at any moment someone else more important than us may call them and they must have the use of their hands so that they can count their money or eat their bagels and drink their cafe latte's and shit. fuck them. i hope they fall down sideways and have that phone crammed into their fucking eardrum and then i'll call them up and their heads explode right in front of me.

"hello"

"oh, i'm sorry, i must have blown your fucking head up. i'll call back later."

everybody is on the phone nowadays. all the time. non-stop. and most of the time it's only to say i'll see you in ten minutes.

i wish the world would start moving backwards. everything is getting way too fucking fast for me. we have to have everything now. now. now. now. i just want to ride around on horseback and play guitar under the stars and have someone named cookie make some beans for me and then i would ride into town and order a shot of whiskey for a nickel and play poker and shoot motherfuckers for cheating. dude, i'd be a badass quickdraw. i'd be like wild bill hiccup and shit. i'd draw my gun and drop down and do the splits like jean claude van goddamn and shit and then i'd shoot that motherfucker right between the eyes and then no one would fuck with me anymore. then i'd go back into the bar and everyone would give me their money and ask me to play a song on my guitar and i'd play "like a rolling stone" and act like i wrote it and they'd all freak out and shit. then all the whores would be hanging around me wanting to fuck me for free and shit and i'd go up to the room and have like eight of them lick my balls at the same time. then i'd tell them to get the fuck out of my room and shit and i'd go back down and drink more whiskey and they'd give it to me for free and make me sheriff. i'd be sheriff bignoggan and i'd rename the town, bignogganland.

i don't think that is too much to ask.

but like i said, fuck those cocksuckers with those stupid ass cellphones in their ear.

yeah,

scott