well uh a boom boom boom and a zoom zoom.

i'm glad to be here tonight...

(sound of huge applause)

i had a gun pulled on me yesterday. true story. a fucking gun.
i always wondered what i'd feel like if i were to have a gun pulled on me and now i know.

i remember thinking "please shoot me".

let me preface this story a bit....

my flag football team, the quaheenases, played in the season ending tournament yesterday in grapevine. we finished the regular season with a 5-1 record and entered the tournament with a 2 seed. our first game was at 7 and if we won we played at 8 and if we won that we played in the championship at 9. just a side note, i play quarterback.

anyway, we won the first two games and were playing in the championship game and this black guy from a team that didn't win a game decides to stand on the sidelines and cuss me the entire game. and i'm not shitting you, the entire game. now, the fact that he was black is really not relevant but he was. about midway through the second half i had had enough and told him to shut the fuck up. he dared me to come over there. so i did.

that motherfucker didn't want any of me.

he then gets on his phone and calls some buddies like the true bad ass he is.

we continued on in the game and i ran in the winning touchdown on the next to last play to win 7-0 and the quaheenases were crowned 2005 winter league champions. i decided i wasn't going to fuck with this guy anymore and tried to leave it alone. i had to be at a gig in arlington at 10:30 anyway. however, he still wanted to talk. he dared me to come over there again. so i did. again.
he still didn't want any. then his buddies pull up in a car and get out and pop the trunk and his brother comes out with a gun. bedlam ensued.

some of my friends on the team called the cops.

they left in their car and waited at the exit for a while. some people thought we should wait a while because they may be waiting for us. i still wanted to get shot but decided to wait with them. they finally left and we followed shortly thereafter. as we passed a convenience store, we saw them in the parking lot with their hands on police cars being frisked. the sight of it brought a smile to my face and gladness to my heart.

i played the gig until fucking 2 in the morning and rocked fucking ballsacks and then had to play in a golf tournament at 7 this morning. my uncle robert picked me up at 5:45. i had gotten two hours of sleep. and guess what..

we won that fucking tournament too.

now i can't bend over, i pulled my hamstring, twisted my ankle, i can't raise my right arm, i did something to my knee, and i'm still awake.

but you know what....

i'm a fucking champion.

and don't you forget it.

suck it,

scott