i was gonna say something but i forgot what it was...

oh well, fuck it.

i think i should give some more writing lessons. i usually like to focus on songwriting, but this time i believe i will teach you all how to have a successful blogging career. by successful, i mean attracting and keeping readers, not making money. i think we all knew that already. okay then. whatever.

here are a few simple guidelines that i go by:

1. avoid talking about what you did that day. no one gives a flying fuck.
2. do not concern yourself with what your parents or children may think.
3. do not write in long paragraph form.
4. say "and shit" a lot and shit.
5. use long streams of periods.......
6. do not use exclamation points ever!
especially not a bunch in a row!!!!!! (if your points need to be exclaimed then they are not very good points)
7. smart people appreciate sarcasm.
8. dumb people don't read.
9. read back over your blog only once.
10. do not have an agenda before you sit down.
11. write completely intoxicated at least once a week.
12. smoke pot.
13. never use lol or any other gay shit like that.
14. make fun of everyone.
15. say shit you don't even mean often.
16. talk to yourself while you type.
17. despise anything that is popular.
18. set yourself up as the shit and accept no arguments.
19. be pompous.
20. criticize things you don't know about.

and lastly and most importantly...

remember: it's all a bunch of bullshit.

i think from now on that i'm going to give lessons on several different things.
i also had an idea to start giving horoscopes...

here is your horoscopes for saturday february 19th

capricorn:
today you might get hit by a bus, but probably not.

aquarius:
someone really close to you is gonna think about killing you at least once today.

pisces:
you will get really drunk tonight and try and fuck a really fat person.

aries:
cupid's arrow will strike you right in the ass today. no wait, that's not cupid's arrow.

taurus:
it doesn't matter anyway cause all you taurus motherfuckers are pricks.

gemini:
you will bring everyone down around you today as usual.

cancer:
you will gain 8 pounds today and watch 12 hours of t.v..

leo:
you will continue to rule the world today as always.

libra:
you would have won the lottery today but you didn't buy a ticket.

virgo:
your lover will admit to you that he or she is fucking your best friend.

scorpio:
you will continue to think about yourself and no one else.

sagittarius:
doom and despair and agony on you today.

that was kinda fun.

i may keep doing that.

maybe not though.

i always have to do everything. all i do is give and give and receive nothing in return.

i see traynor finally graced us with his smarmy bullshit. thanks.

well, i've gotta go drink some grape koolaid.

tomorrow john, andy and i will be at judge roy bean's in keller at 8:30 and sunday the whole band will be in arlington at manhattan's near six flags. beck hudson will be opening at 7:00. sorry we didn't get that on the website. hope to see you there.

get laid, get drunk, get stoned,

scott