i can see all of your smiling little faces right now..

you just got to work and are checking your emails and shit and then checking my website to see if i may have taken the time to bring a little joy into your miserable lives...

and i did.

and you love it. you're all excited and you know it. you just keep reading hoping that it won't ever end.

sentence after sentence with that big dumb smile on your face.

you're probably wondering, "how does he do it? he's so goddamned talented and brilliant and yet so thoughtful of us little people."

well, i am a gracious and merciful leader. i admit that. but to be honest. i do this for me. and me alone. i could care less about any of you motherfuckers. i wish you would quit reading. but you won't.
you never will. you will read and digest every fleeting thought out of my fucked up mind.

i feel so empowered. i wish there was a way i could suck all of your brains out of your heads through the computer screen everytime your read my shit. and then my head would get all big like those fucking martians on that martian movie when jack nicholson was the president and shit. dude, i wish jack nicholson really was the president. that would be cool. that would be cool and you know this. jack nicholson is my favorite actor of all-time. i think i've seen every one of his movies. one flew over the cuckoo's nest was my favorite, though. nurse rachett was a bitch in that. i fucking hated her.

what else...

it's raining. it's 3 in the morning.

fuck.

i should be asleep.

i really like sleeping. i remember someone telling me in sunday school that there was no sleeping in heaven and i was like, "fuck that, then. can we sleep in hell?"

i quit smoking dope. i haven't smoked any pot in over 6 months. that is a record for me. you are probably wondering why i would do such a thing. well, the state of texas has put a stop to all my fun. i have to call an automated number every morning monday through friday to see if i have to go piss for the man. it sucks ass. as soon as get off probation, i'm rolling the biggest fucking hogleg of all-time and getting ripped out of my head.

i have done quite a bit of drugs in my day. i felt sorry for cory morrow, but then again what kind of a fucking idiot drives around drunk at 3 in the morning with cocaine on them. fuck cory morrow. i don't feel sorry for him at all. i don't even know why i said that. fucking cheerleader.

sometimes i have dreams about smoking pot and then wake up and think i have to go take a test and get all weirded out and think i'm gonna fail and then i realize that i only dreamed that i smoked pot but then i get paranoid and think that my brain is powerful enough to emit thc into my system through dreaming because it can make me cum sometimes and i figure that's pretty fucking powerful. but then sometimes i forget how old i am and shit. i forgot my brother's phone number today. i had to call like 8 different numbers and shit until i got it right. i called this one number and it sounded like my brother and i said, "what's up fuckface?" and then the dude goes, "pardon me" and i was like, "nevermind."

that's all folks...

if the good lord's willin' and the creek's don't rise...

eat shit and flies,

scott