okay peeps,

i wanna apologize for being so goddamn boring lately. i haven't had anything to say and yet i've still sat down and filled page after page full of meaningless bullshit. for that, i am sorry. i'll try to do better. 2005 is not starting off particularly well for scott's thoughts. i fear that my best days are behind me. washed up at 34.

fuck it.

what do i care?

my whole life does not revolve around you motherfucker's reading entertainment. i can quit this shit at anytime and not look back. i was getting along just fine before i decided to fill your lives with humor and wit. go back to your miserable existences and leave me alone.

and yes, benn, i have seen "Sideways". are you fucking happy now?

do you see how quickly i turn it around? sometimes i amaze myself with my mood swings. i am a bipolar motherfucker. it reminds me of one of my favorite thoughts. "I take drugs because i'm bipolar because i take drugs."

maybe it should have been, "I'm bipolar because i take drugs because i'm bipolar."

so brad pitt and jennifer aniston split up. what a shock. they were such a great couple. i thought they'd be together forever. my faith in marriage is ruined. i heard on the radio that jennifer aniston caught brad and angelina jolie having phone sex. i just so happen to have the actual recording.

it goes like this...

Brad - "What are you wearing?"

Angelina - "Nothing."

Brad - "you're naked."

Angelina - "yes. and i'm playing with myself."

Brad - "oh god."

Angelina - "are you playing with yourself?

Brad - "you bet."

Angelina - "do you think i'm hotter than rachel? i mean jennifer."

Brad - "not really. but you're kind of a freak and i dig that shit. will you dress up like lara croft and spank me."

Angelina - "fuck yeah, motherfucker."

Brad - "oh god, yes."

Angelina - "can i drink your blood?"

Brad - what do you mean?

angelina - i mean, can i drink your blood motherfucker.

brad - why?

angelina - nevermind.


i can't say the rest because it is too graphic. i apologize for not using quotations and capital letters near the end. i got tired of that. i hate hitting the control button. it is such a waste of time. fuck capital letters.

some car keeps driving in front of our house and slowing down.

i'm gonna go out there and moon 'em next time.

speaking of mooning. another shock in the sports world. randy moss pantomimed mooning the crowd at lambeau field after scoring a touchdown.

who would have thought that randy moss would do such a classless thing? he's always conducted himself with such dignity and sportsmanship. i am truly shocked.

dude, i've gotta go. someone's knocking on my door.

go away motherfucker.

can't you see i'm busy,

scott