aah yes...

shit talk.

so...

here i am again. blabbing away. waiting for a sign. a sign from god. a sign from the gods. a sign from anyone. divine inspiration. something.

but yet.....

there is nothing.

that never-ending void of nothingness that is my head. nothing going on. no brain waves. no brain activity whatsoever. i am doing this without even thinking.
i remember when i was a kid and they talked about the brain telling you to breath or move your arm or leg or blink your eyes or some shit. that shit ain't true. nothing is going on. i'm typing this without even thinking. there is nothing on my mind. my mind is eternally blank. i have cleared my mind. it is like crystal clear water that you can see to the bottom of. except there is nothing at the bottom. not a goddamn thing. nothing at the top either. i just continue pushing the keyboard with my lightning fast fingers without the use of my brain. i don't even need my brain. all it ever does is get me in trouble anyway. fuck brains. fuck my brain. it is an abyss of blackness. a gulf of continuous nothing. a black hole. a vacuum.

wait, i think i just thought of something.

if i just thought i thought of something, does that mean that i thought? am i actually thinking right now? i think i'm thinking of something i thought of, but yet in reality i never thought of what i was thinking of. fuck thinking. i think too goddamn much anyway. thinking thinking thinking. fuck it. i don't wanna think anymore. i spend my whole day thinking about shit. shit. that is all it is. a big fuming pile of shit. i am not going to think all day tomorrow. i'm not going to think the rest of this year. i'm going to kill every goddamn brain cell that ever even thought about thinking something. they are all little brown nosing ass kissing brain cells. always wanting to be noticed. well, fuck em. i ain't paying attention to them anymore. they can scream and holler all they want but i'm ignoring them.

they'll all be like, "hey scott, do you think that if you were in medieval times that you would have been a good jouster." and i'll be like, fuck you man. i ain't got time for that stupid shit anymore. i'm in a band now. i've got shit to do and i don't have time to be figuring out if i would have been a good jouster. but then i'll probably think about jousting anyway.
jousting was fucking stupid. it seems like whoever had the longest joust would win. or the longest arms. i wonder if they had regulation size jousts or if you could just use any joust you wanted. i would have made my joust fucking fifty feet long and shit. but then it would be all heavy and shit and i'd have to work out and lift heavy shit and get strong. fuck that. i wonder if all the bitches shaved their pits back then. that would suck if they didn't because i would be the best jouster in the world and get all the pussy but they'd have hairy pits and shit and i'd be like, "bitch, you need to shave your pits." and they'd all go, "nobody shaves their pits." and i'd be, "i'm from the future and hot bitches shave their pits unless their from east germany or some shit like that." and they'd go, "where's east germany?" and i'd say, "shut up bitch. i ain't got time for this shit."

jousting. dude, i would've been a bad ass jouster and you know this. i'd all hide under my horses neck and stick that joust right in their fucking faces. and my horse would be called mr. ed. and none of them stupid fucking medieval motherfuckers would know about mr. ed the talking horse because they didn't have t.v. and shit and then i'd start acting out classic t.v. shows and they'd think i was a genius. i do that one bit where lucy was eating all the chocolates on the conveyer belt, but they wouldn't have conveyor belts so fuck that. dude, then i'd do the goddamn moonwalk in my socks on the castle floor and bust into a robot. man, those fuckers won't know what hit em. i'll be all laughing doing the centipede and shit and they'll all be freaking out. and then i'll flip em off and say who wants to joust now motherfuckers.


and no one would.

cuz i'm the best motherfucking jouster in the world.

and you know this.

so there,

scott


p.s. please comment on what songs you would like to know the lyrics and chords to and we'll get that up asap. for all you fucks who like to play my songs for bitches and act like you wrote em because you figure that no one will ever hear of me. fuck you.