merry christmas motherfuckers....

made it through another one.

spent all day at mom's. eating turkey and dressing like it was going out of style.
don't go messin' with my dressin'.

i stayed up late last night watching t.v.. tnt had a "law and order" marathon and court t.v had a "forensic files" marathon. an entertainment overload. a smorgasbord of drama. a plethora of action and intensity. i stayed up until about 4 watching that shit and thinking a lot about santa claus.

"a miracle on 34th street" was on and i forgot what a fucked up concept santa really is. where did we come up with that shit? a fat guy who lives on the north pole surrounded by elves and flying reindeer who delivers toys to all the good boys and girls of the world in one fucking night. that is great. and he eats cookies at every goddamn stop. i left him a couple of rocks of crack on our table. i thought he might be dragging just a little and need a little pick me up. i just can't seem to understand why we chose elves, reindeer and the north pole, though. why not a skinny dude who lives on the south pole surrounded by aborigine and flying kangaroos.

yeah, danny the red nosed kangaroo.

why does he need fucking reindeer anyway? can't he just make a goddamn jet or some shit? put those fucking elves to work.

anyhoo, i'm glad it's over. i get really tired of having to act like a give a fuck.

i remember one christmas when i was a kid, i got my neighbor's bike. he got a new one and i got his old one. santa claus brought my neighbor's bike. i asked my parents how i got his bike and they said they worked out a deal with santa, himself. i knew something was up right then. i think i already told that story last year. or the year before. oh well, fuck it.
i'm gonna tell it every son of a bitching year from now on.

i used son of a bitching because i felt that i was saying fucking and goddamn too much.
mix up my adjectives a little bit so you don't get bored. that's what us good fucking writers do. i mean good son of a bitching writers do.

i guess i'm running out of shit to say. it's all over. my run is done. the crop is stopped. the flow is no mo. the end my friend.

what to do, what to do.

i don't what it is about that goddamn movie, "That thing you Do", but i watch it everytime i pass it while i'm channel surfing. i think it sends out some kind of wavelength that puts me in a trance and hypnotizes me. maybe it's that song. it's so damn catchy and snappy. i bet i've seen it twenty five fucking times now and that's just in the last month. i'm gonna learn that song and we're gonna cover it. we'll fucking taking over the world. i'm gonna make biscuit wear shades and shit. great idea, scott. you're a genius.

i know, thanks.

i apologize to robert earl for leaving off "Merry Christmas from the Family" on my song list. an absolute great song and i can't believe i forgot it.

what about pat green doing "Frosty the Snowman"?

what a rebel. what a bold innovator. what a pioneer. what an outlaw.

frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul.

a jolly happy soul.

that's me.

i'm a jolly happy soul.

you know why they don't make snowwomen?

it takes too long to hollow out the head.

is this on? is this on? mike check....


scott