i woke up just in time to puke....

thank god.

i love starting my day off with a nice healthy puke. it gives me such a great outlook on another god-given day. watching the bile and acid come out of my mouth and spill into the toilet prepares me for the wonderous thing we call life. i don't know how many mornings i puke, but i would bet it's at least 3 out 10. i recommend throwing up in the morning to all my readers. it brings clarity.

speaking of clarity....

last night i decided that i wanted to use these ear wax candles that i got in my stocking. i've never used them before and i was really interested in what might come out of my ears. i had always heard that it is an amazing experience. supposedly in the third and fourth centuries when new kings and rulers took over, they used to ear wax candles because they brought on clarity.

all they did for me was stink up the house like burnt fucking ear wax.

well, the band and i will be heading to norman to play at the deli tonight. i hope some people show up because we're doing a straight door deal and we're all broke as shit and i'm not sure if we'll be able to make it home if we don't make at least fifty bucks. we might have to move in with tic tac and eric hansen. i'm sure they'll let us. they love me.

everyone loves me.

maybe we can get a job selling pot.

and for all you stillwater fuckers, we'll be at mike's college bar on the 27th of january and at the wormy dog in okc opening for mcclure's band on the 28th. all you cocksuckers who keep signing my comment section about a stillwater show better show your face in the place.

speaking of that, let me explain something to you all......

i would love to play in a lot of towns. i think you are all under the impression that i can just call people up and they'll let me play their establishments and offer sacks of money. this is not the case. i have no booking agent. i have no manager. i have no name recognition. i have nothing but a handful of people that read my bullshit on here. this does not entitle me to anything. believe me.... i've tried. if you are interested in seeing me play in your town, then you need to do some goddamn legwork for me. contact your local bar and tell them how wonderful we are and that you would love to see us play there. then you can email me and i'll call them. hopefully, they'll let us. usually not, though.

maybe one day this will all change and my calendar will fill up effortlessly and people will be knocking my door down to represent me and manage me and i'll be able to pick and choose where i play. i wouldn't know what to do if that happened. i hear these bands bitch all the time about their pay or how much of a percentage the bar takes out of their merchandise or how they weren't offered a hotel room for free and it's all i can do not to take out an oozie and blow their bus all to hell.

i know one thing. no one can ever tell me that i didn't pay my dues.

no one.

i'll talk to you cats when i get back......

hope to see you at the deli. many thanks to tic tac for helping me out.


scott