i am so in the christmas spirit. i wish they would start playing christmas music even sooner. like in august or something. i love christmas music. christmas music all the time, non-stop. uninterrupted christmas music. if only we could have christmas every day.

i watched "a nick and jessica family christmas" last night and it really put me in the christmas spirit. i just want to go out caroling in the neighborhood. i really love those two. that part where jessica stuck her tongue on the icy pole was so fucking funny. and original. they are groundbreaking artists and i hope they continue to do their christmas show every year. i love seeing 98degrees reunions and an ashlee and jessica duet of "the little drummer boy". my fucking christmas came early.

do you smell that? somebody stepped in some sarcasm.

jessica simpson is making millions of dollars playing up to her stupidity. i wonder how she feels about that.

"Hi, I'm Jessica Simpson, and i'm a fucking dumb bitch."

i don't know what that is. maybe a new commercial for pizza hut or something. now, i'm an adman. yeah here it is.

"Hi, I'm Jessica Simpson and i'm so fucking stupid. buy some shit from pizza hut."

3 million dollars. done.

i am a marketing genius.

i can't wait until their divorce. i give it two more years tops. that is my prediction. mark it.


i was reading on the internet the other day and found out that toby keith collected 3 and half million dollars for his brilliant ford truck commercial. 3 and half million. that is mind boggling. i absolutely loved the part where he's hitchhiking and turns the ride down from a chevy truck. i'll bet toby keith has never hitchhiked a day in his money hungry life.

here would be my commercial....

scene: toby keith hitchhiking.....

then i come flying over the top of the hill doing a hundred in a chevy and run right over his fucking ass.

scene ends as i light up a cigarette and laugh my ass off.

if there are any chevy executives reading this, please contact me immediately and have 4 million dollars in cash ready.

i can hear you all now....

"Scott, you're just jealous. if they offered you 3 and half million dollars to do a commercial, you'd do it so fast our heads would spin."

okay, let me explain something to you. they would never offer me 3 million dollars to do a commercial because i don't have any money. do you understand,... finally? they only offer 3 million dollars to people who already have 3 million dollars. do you see? can you grasp that concept? only millionaires do commercials for millions because toby wants more fucking money. more money more money more money. because that is what art is all about. more money and commercialism.

and secondly, eat a bag of shit.

i think i've already covered this topic completely.

but you know what....

i'll cover it again as much as i fucking want to and guess what?

you'll keep fucking reading it.
because you have nothing better to do than read what's coming off the top of my head.

which it is.

please blog scott, enlighten us, share your wisdom, be funny, talk about this or talk about that.....
we are your pathetic readers and we must know what you think about all subjects at all times.

you are our drug and we are addicted to you. we cannot stop reading no matter how much we try. our lives are empty without you.

do you see children? i do this for you. for you. because i love you.

and it's free....

so there.

don't say i never gave you anything,

scott