it's late and i just watched this show on hbo called "Born Rich". it was a documentary about rich kids. one of the heirs of the johnson&johnson company decided to make it because of the growing concerns in our society for the filthy rich fucking snobby ass brats.

i wanted to pull an elvis and shoot the fucking t.v. a couple of times, but yet there i was....glued to the t.v. like a woman watching oprah.

speaking of oprah....

she's doing her little "making dreams come true" tour in her big ass bus. here is my open letter to oprah hoping that she will come and visit me on her tour and makes some of my dreams come true.

Dear Okra...
i mean Oprah..

i rarely watch your show because i have a penis, but i was hoping that you could come by my house in fort worth and fulfill a few wishes of mine. i am a struggling songwriter and screenwriter and it would be an honor to meet you and have you make some of my dreams come true.

first of all, i've always wanted you to lick my balls and my asshole and give me ten million dollars. if you can't give me the money, i'll just take the balllicking. i also wanted to see your nips. i'll bet you have big ass motherfucking nipples and shit. i dig that.

sincerely,

scott copeland

p.s. gimme a fucking car too, bitch.


shit, that's fucking funny. i don't care who you are.

i can't believe i just said that. i fucking hate that dude. i hate all those blue collar beatoffs.

if you're still telling the same ass jokes you told ten fucking years ago, you might be a redneck.

that motherfucker made millions on those stupid ass redneck jokes.

here's one for you.....

if your name is jeff foxworthy, you might be a beatoff.

yeah, if your name is bill engvall, you might be a cocksmoker.

damn, i'm on a roll. i'm gonna have to start a book and get that motherfucker out before christmas. those bitches will sell like zanexes at a tupperware party.

and the hits just keep on coming....

i'll talk to you motherfuckers later...

we've gotta do some talking about the christmas holiday shit.

say it, don't spray it,

scott