i want you guys to know that i typed a very good church blog today that was erased twice.

i was extremely disappointed.

anyway, i'm trying one again. if it erases it, i'm quitting.

got a little tom waits in this morning, getting reading to play golf with my brother and some friends at harbor lakes in granbury. we might stop and eat lunch at grump's.

i had a few questions that i needed to answer. it seems a few people would like to know why i didn't choose a career in acting, seeing that i have such an incredibly vast and expansive knowledge of film, astonishing leading role good looks, an impeccable sense of humor and timing, enormous i.q., and of course, the ability to gain and lose weight rapidly.

i have pondered this a few times and have come up with a few basic answers.

they are:

1. sometimes actors are called upon to appear non-cool. this is impossible for me.

2. i cannot be directed.

3. too many gay people in theatre. i don't have anything against gays, but that doesn't mean i want to be in a room full of them either.

4. i generally don't like people.

5. and most importantly, why act like someone else when i can be me all the time?

yeah, that's what i thought.

i really wish i hadn't lost that church blog. it was funny. i was cracking myself up. i don't remember what i was saying though. oh well fuck it. it probably would have just made all of you uncomfortable.

sometimes it seems that what makes be belly laugh makes others uneasy. i always look at them like they have no sense of humor whatsoever. i love the word whatsoever. it's one of the only words that is really three little words crammed together without any commas or punctuation and i fucking dig that about whatsoever.

i thought i'd continue my "story behind the song" of the week and michelle is the only one of you maggots who asked about a song. she inquired about a new song called "Walking On The Moon Tonight". mike mcclure helped me out with this one in the hotel room while we were recording "A Minutia of Goony Birds". it made the final cut.

it starts out:

"I wish i had a flat rock, the best that i can find.
I'd skip it off the surface of the waters in my mind.
Cause thoughts are just the ripples and dreams are like the waves
And memories are the vessels we dock into the bay.
My harbor has been emptied, all my ships are out at sea
and i'm walking on the moon tonight, won't you come with me."

the only thing i can remember about writing this is:

i was wine drunk and i passed out and had a dream about skipping rocks. i woke up and wrote this first verse.

in closing,

please bow your head for the prayer:

"Dear Lord, we wanted to thank you for allowing the oklahoma state cowboys to open up a can of whoop ass all over those ucla queerbaits. you are most wise and gracious lord. we ask that you be with our beloved texas rangers. they are alone in the darkness and all the walls are crumbling down around them and we beg that you show them the light and lead them to the promisedland. please be with our ryder cup team members as they prepare to win back the cup in two weeks. put lightning rods in their hands for drivers and magic wands in their hands for putters and courage in their heart and a dead aim focus in their minds. also, if it's not a problem, let me kick my brother's ass all over the place today. thank you and amen."

i hope all of you had a safe and happy labor day weekend.

be cool,

scott