i had a dream last night that i did a gigantic line of cocaine. i got out of bed at 5:30 and took a shower, read the newspaper, walked around the block twice, rearranged my cd's, and wrote a song before 7:30.

the mind is a powerful thing.

we just got back from the ranger's game. the gambler beat those chicago white sux, 10-3. i guess my prayer got through. i love yelling at the umpires and the opposing players.
that shit is so fun. they should pay me to go to the game and yell at the umpires. everyone sitting in my section loved me. they nominated me "section president" and i gladly accepted. instead of starting the wave, we all flipped off the umpire in unison. soon, a giant fuck you wave began and instead of standing up and sitting back down, everyone just flipped off the umpire. 30,000 middle fingers waving proudly. i sat back and smiled at my creation.

a seven run rangers second inning explosion began and everyone knew if was because of me and my fuck you wave masterpiece.

my zipper is down. i wonder how long it has been like that. i remember pissing about 3 hours ago.

i fucking hated those levis that buttoned up. 501 blues suck.

there are a lot of 18-20 year old punks that hang out over here quite regularly and i've been doing a study on fashion trends amongst our young people and it has led me to make a prediction.

SCOTT'S FASHION TREND PREDICTION:

by the year 2006, it will become popular to leave your zipper unzipped and show even more underwear. jeans will be made with the bigger and bigger zippers that are locked in the unzipped position, and therefore, will allow for maximum visible underwear potential. the MVU factor, as it will be known.

by 2008, women will begin having nipple sized pieces of cloth permantly sewn over their nipples and lower body orafices so that they will never have to get dressed again and can go out in public and show as much skin as the law allows.

in 2009, forehead spikes hit the market.

in 2010, it will become a national craze to tattoo your entire body in camouflage.

that's all i can think of, for now.

oh wait...

no, that was somebody else.

what?

suck it,

scott