i got a room at the top of the world tonight and i ain't comin' down. ----tom petty

i thought today would be a special blog day. i'm feeling rather unusual today.

i'm getting my decaying tooth pulled out of my head in about 3 hours. i also had a dream that i was in the backseat of a van and was heading straight for a family of 6 in a convertible, and then realized there was no one driving and that i didn't have any legs. i tried to crawl in the front seat and press down the brake with my hand. then i woke up and took ferrell to work and seth to school.

now i'm sitting here banging away at the typewriter like a fucking idiot.

i wanted to share some advice with you guys.

this is for all you would-be singer-songwriters out there.

there are a few things you need to understand before you decide to choose this way of life.

first of all, all writers, in general, are incredible egomaniacs. this includes you.
if you don't believe me, just throw ten singer songwriters in a room together and watch the fucking weirdness begin. i usually do okay in these situations, but that's just because i have yet to meet a songwriter that i didn't think i could physically whip. come to think of it, if they were to have an ultimate fighting championship at the red dirt music awards.........i think we all know who the odds on favorite would be.

getting back to what i saying earlier......

anyone who enjoys getting behind a microphone, has some severe character flaws. know this.

also, you need to know that great songs come from very shitty conditions, generally speaking of course. therefore if you want to write great songs, chances are you need to leave the frat house.

another point to know is that performing live promotes alcoholism and drug use. this is a fact.

but the most important thing i want you to remember about it all is:

IT IS ALL BULLSHIT.


thanks to mike from bpm for reminding me of that point. i forget sometimes.

i have some more important news. i wanted to let everyone know that alfonzo has joined us. he emailed me personally and somewhat apologized for the pediphile joke. i still don't trust that fucker, but i'm gonna let him stick around for a while. i don't want any of you to think that i can't take criticism. i take criticism every single day. just ask my dad.

however, i do want you to know that you are all welcome to bash me as much as you want, but if you don't mind, don't call me a kid fucker. whenever you have an eight year old daughter, you'll understand my lack of a sense of humor on that issue.

okay fine.

see how easy i am. i really am the coolest guy i've ever met. i'm sure there are some people out there that are cooler than me. i just haven't met them yet.

hey man. what's up?

who are you talking to?

knick knack paddy whack give the dog a cellphone......

thirty minutes later..........

i was watching "Crook and Chase" yesterday. is there anything fucking worse that that?

jesus christ, how to those two fucking clowns have jobs?

i'll tell you how......GAC.

Gay Ass Country.

don't forget it......

well, i've gotta go brush my teeth for thirty minutes and get ready for the dentist appointment.

stick it where don't shine,

scott