i was just rummaging around in the garage looking for something.

and then i forgot what i went out there for in the first place.

and then i found all my old guitar books that i bought when i first started playing guitar.

Eagles Anthology Easy Guitar
John Cougar Mellencamp Songbook
Van Morrison Anthology
Merle Haggard's Hits

all kinds of shit.

i also found this notebook in one of my dusty old drawers and there was nothing in it except a brief paragraph. it said...

"Scott, this is a note to yourself. if you find this and are reading it, then obviously you haven't advanced at all in your writing and you should quit. learn a trade you fucking idiot and quit smoking dope all the time. p.s. i'm high right now"

i thought it was funny.
i make myself laugh all the time.
especially when i'm alone.

so like i was saying,
i completely recommend the Eagles Anthology Easy Guitar for anyone out there learning guitar.
a lot of songs in G and C and D. the holy trinity of music.
god's chords.

speaking of god....

it is sunday and time yet again for another edition of the church of scott's thoughts.

please rise for the prayer....

"dear god, please help us in our fight against the promotion of mediocrity. please help us keep our focus and stand tall against complete and utter ignorance and ricockulousness. our enemy is vast and evergrowing and we ask that you help us keep our sense of humor, sarcasm, and cynicism strong and unflappable. guide our way, oh lord, and keep us in safe distance from hearing the screeching sounds of shitty ass shit music that the evil among us are using to steal our brains. allow our eyes not to see any television programs with david hasselhoff or dean cain in them. oh yeah, and help us legalize pot. thank you and amen."

so anyway, i have an announcement.

tomorrow, i will be in norman at the deli once again filling in for the travis linville experience. i hope some of you will come out and join the services. hopefully no one gets stabbed this time.
that is tomorrow, monday the 16th at the deli in norman, ok.
be there or beware.

my neighbor just bought a motorcycle. he thinks he's fucking cool. i oughta go over and whip his fucking ass and piss on his goddamn suzuki. fucking cocksucker.

people are always pissing me off.

that was not part of church, by the way.
this is.

if we really wanna advance the human race.... here is what i suggest.

everyone below the 100 i.q. mark, get sterilized immediately.
everyone between 100 and 110, can have two kids and then they are sterilized. the parents, not the kids. okay then.

i know that some of you may look upon this notion as inhumane, but i beg to differ.

we, as a species, will no doubt advance at a rate 100 times faster because of my plan.

the people getting sterilized will probably be grateful because they can fuck even more and not have to worry about pregnancy. they're too stupid to be offended. and the other group of idiots, at least gets to have two children and that is fucking plenty. believe me.
as a matter of fact, no one should get to have more than two kids.
we have enough fucking people on this planet right now.

well, i think i've spread enough joy for one day.

may the force be with you,

scott