yep yep.

nope nope.

god has instructed me to tell you that he is gonna kill me if i don't raise ten billion dollars. 

have a nice life...

just kidding...

he really told me to tell you guys to quit jerking off all the time.  

and then he said something about hot pockets but i forgot.  

where's my pipe?

if it was up your ass you'd know. 

yeah...

sometimes when i'm by myself,  i'm glad that no one can see me.     i talk to myself a lot.  
sometimes in strange voices.   sometimes on the phone.   sometimes from inside the television. 
sometimes in my underwear.

but not now.    now,  i blog.  
i blog to save the world from sure destruction.   someone has to.  
i take it upon myself to rid the world of hypocrisy.  

one time i got drunk as balls with kevin von erich in the airport.   i think i already said that. 

getting drunk with a living von erich is worth repeating. 

i need to do a movie review.  i keep putting that shit off.  

fuck it.   i'll do it when i'm goddamn good and ready.   

i remember when i was three years old.

no i don't.  

i think i was twelve when i first beat off.  

i wonder how many times i've beat off in my life.  

it's got to be a staggering amount.    you can pretty much count at least one a day.  

off the top of my head,  i would handicap the over and under at 7000.  

there's no way in hell wilt chamberlain slept with 20000 women.   i don't think i've pissed 20000 times.  he's a fucking liar.   fuck him.

cya,

scott