so...

here we are again....

typing away at a computer like i expect it to talk back to me. i am really starting to doubt the positivity of my thoughts. it is a constant battle between my selves. am i fucked up or is everyone else duranged? who's to say? the chicken and the egg, man.

i'm off to norman here in a little while. i'm going up early to play some golf with the toadster. he is due a serious ass throttling.

i hope some people show up to the gig at the deli tonight. travis linville is a bad ass. i like him. he's cool. come to think of it, i don't really give a fuck if any of ya'll show up or not. yeah.

slight pause for some moonwalking in my socks on the hardwood floor....

i can moonwalk in my socks like a motherfucker.

bust a little robot.

maybe some chicken into the running man.

so now i've given away my secrets to a svelte figure. i was gonna do an excercise video. i just gave away millions of dollars. that's the kinda guy i am.

me=cool.

got a couple of new tunes finished recently. one is called "medicine man". i wrote it with scott boland. then there's one called "the alliteration bluegrass death song". mcclure and the gary wayne had their hands all in that one. i'll give you a little bit of it.

frankie liked that feeling when he freebased
he'd go crazy just cooking that cocaine
he was tweekin' and a freakin' in his trailer
and they found him naked with a needle in his vein.

wayne worked his way up on wall street
you could tell by the wristwatch that he wore
he went for a ride on the inside
and flew right off the sixteenth floor.

that shit is pretty good yo.

none of you fuckfaces better steal that shit.

i thought since i am becoming pseudo-famous, i would give you all a list of things not to say to me when you first meet me.

1. my friend saw you at a party and you were wasted.
2. i've gotta a great song. can you help me?
3. you're a lot bigger than i thought you were.
4. can you get me cross canadian ragweed tickets?
5. can i take a picture with you?
6. will you read my play?
7. my brother plays guitar. he's about as good as you.
8. do you have highlights in your hair?
9. i have an 8 ball.
10. do you know that toby keith song?

here is a short list of things that are acceptable to say when you first meet me.

1. you're brilliant.
2. you're hilarious.
3. you are an incredible specimen of manhood.
4. thank you for allowing me to be in your presence.
5. keep the change.


well, i've cracked myself up enough for a monday.

stick it,

scott