oh the world would swing..

if i were king...

true dat, mr. petty. i'm on a huge tom petty kick lately. i've forgotten how much i love the "wildflowers" record. fucking great.

and yes, i still say record. that's what it is. it's a fucking recording. a record. cd's will be obsolete in 10 years anyway......and i'll still be saying record. so eat shit and die, motherfucker.

how about them fucking cowpokes of oklahoma state.....

i don't know if i need to remind you all or not, but three of the teams i predicted in the final four made it. i also predicted a oklahoma state victory over duke in the finals, which is still very much possible. i am a sports genius. i'm starting my own vegas hot-line. Vinny Vegas's Sports Hotline. 9.99 a minute. fuck yeah.

what else is going on in the sports world....

the masters is next week. my favorite major. phil mickelson is winning that bitch and you can all take it to the bank. i thought i'd touch on the masters and augusta national a little today. if you remember last year, there was the huge martha burke and hootie johnson battle going on. martha was protesting and arguing that women should be allowed membership into the all-male augusta national golf club.

here is my take on it.

shut up, bitch.

while i'm on the subject of women and athletics,.... i would like to throw out another hot sports opinion. can someone please tell me why there is professional women's basketball? why would anyone want to pay money to watch a bunch of women who can't even touch the rim play basketball. i think me and four of my out of shape friends could win the WNBA championship. i could kick sheryl swoops ass in one on one, too. somebody get that set up for pay-per-view.

golf, tennis, figure skating, and pie baking contests should be the only sports in which women are allowed to be called professionals.

a sub par high school boy's basketball team could win the women's ncaa tournament.

i'll bet more than half of all women college and high school volleyball and basketball coaches are lesbian. i want a survey done. i'll bet the statistics are mind boggling. look at the lpga, for christ's sake. what the fuck is going on? is it possible for women to engage in athletics without wanting to eat pussy? some kind of investigation should be done.

i really feel like i'm going out on a pretty shaky limb right now.

it reminds of when melissa etheridge "came out".

was that really necessary? i was pretty sure she was a muffdiver already.
kd lang is gay. no fucking way.

don't get me wrong, though. i have nothing against lesbians. as a matter of fact, i rather enjoy them. i have several lesbian videos.

thirty minutes later....

man, you have got to try the strawberry shortcake fig newtons. they are fucking fabulous.

well, i'm gonna go sit on the porch and drink a pibb xtra.

lick it,

scott