happy valentine's day.....

it snowed like a motherfucker last night. all the kids of the neighborhood are out being little shits, and our friends across the street still getting their asses kicked by me in madden, the neighbor's dog, alex, is still barking constantly at everything and nothing, and i'm am still cool. that is the going's on of the day.

i'm getting ready to go to my son's game and get the kids for tonight and tomorrow. they're coming to spend valentine's day with ol' pop. we might built a sheet tent in the den and make up stories. whenever i'm running low on song ideas, i always get my kids and play make-believe games and shit.

just kidding... that sounded horrible.

the simple fact of the matter is....my kids are incredibly gifted child prodigies. a lot of people say their kids are really smart and beautiful and gifted, but their kids are really little disrespectful brats who oughta be beaten daily. that is not the case with my spawn. they are well-behaved little balls of lights that shine wherever they go that just so happen to have wonderful imaginations. chips off the old block, you might say.
so for me to use my time with my children as writing excercises is like teaching them about work and discipline.

that's a good one...

ferrell, got me the essential bruce springsteen for v-day. i've got it blasting. thunder road is one of favorite songs of all time. that shit makes me wanna run down the street hollerin' like motherfucking braveheart and shit. you know what i'm saying.

"well, i got this guitar and i learned how to make it talk
and my car's out back if you're ready to make that long walk
from your front porch to my front seat
the door's open, but the ride it ain't free
and i know you're lonely for the words that i ain't spoken
but tonight we'll be free, all the promises will be broken
there were ghosts in the eyes of the boys you sent away
they haunt this dusty beach road in the skeleton frames of burned out chevrolets".


the boss does not fuck around.

since i am a part-time movie critic, i will give you all some free movie advice. go rent "American Splendor" tonight and watch it twice. i give it five stars and i don't do that very often.

one hour later..........

man, i got lost in some springsteen lyrics for a while. i apologize.

i've been keeping up with the egroup lately and i have decided that i needed to share a few things.

first off, this is directly for kate heartsill.

always know this....you are a little spoiled, rich, selfish, tcu bitch.
i will reprimand you whenever i see fit on MY fucking egroup, that you happen to be using to proudly show off your stuck-uppishness and extremely high "cunt" factor quotient. also, known as the "cfq". please save this behavior and attitude for the kateheartsill egroup. oh wait, there's not one..... and no one would give a shit if there was, anyway.

secondly, for the rest of you. i only know a few people on the egroup, so don't think that i do. ekorts is one of my best friends of all-time and also the co-writer of "Cuntry Girl", although he denies it in certain company, and there are a couple of others i would consider friends. i've enjoyed reading the egroup, and it makes me feel good to see what a large collection of smart asses i've brought together with my well-worded bullshit. Tim seems like a cool motherfucker that could be in my cool club. of course, he would have to pass a few tests first.

i don't know what else to say about the egroup. i really just wanted to bitch at kate and her bitch ass shit.

man, that shit's funny.

i'm gonna leave you with one of my favorite jokes of all-time.

"a duck walks into a bar and sits up on the bar and says, "Got any Gwapes?"

the bartender says, "no, we ain't got any gwapes and we don't serve ducks, anyway."

the next day, the same duck walks into the bar and says, "Got any Gwapes?"

the bartender says, "i told you we ain't got any gwapes, and if you come in here tomorrow and ask for gwapes i'm gonna nail your bill to the bar."

the next day, the next day the duck walks into the bar and says, "Got any nails?"

the bartender says, "no"

the ducks says, "Got any Gwapes?"


i love that shit.. i've gotta go. i'm laughing too hard again...


out,

scott