how are my little morons doing today?

i see the guestbook has been a little busier than usual, and i appreciate you guys keeping the ridiculous bullshit to a minimum. i know how hard it is for you.

i just got done reading the newspaper on the porch and i came across this story about some reverends and congressmen trying to get a law passed that requires "the ten commandments" to be put up in our courthouses and other municipal buildings. is it really necessary for me to comment on this? sure it is.

do i have to remind everyone that one of the greatest things about this country is jefferson's concept of "seperation of church and state"? goddamn. oops, broke another one. i hate right wing christian coalition fools.

yeah, anyway, this rally was being done in columbia, s.c. and only 100 people showed up. thank god. i think maybe they need to work on getting that fucking confederate flag down from their capitol building before we start considering putting the ten commandments up in courthouses. but hey, that's just me. does anyone else but me see how ridiculous that is? the ten commandments in our courtrooms, jesus christ.
all we have to do is sidestep that little thing we call the bill of rights which protects our "freedom of religion". but hey, who fucking needs a bill of rights anyway, right? why don't we just move our courtrooms into churches for god sake's? cut out the middle man and shit.

while on the topic of religion, i might as well elaborate on some of my views. why not? i haven't pissed anyone off all day, and it just doesn't feel right.

first of all, there is no devil. okay, thank you. and therefore, no hell. just my opinion, though. take it with a grain of salt or take it and roll it up and smoke it. i always find it interesting when i tell people that i don't believe in the devil or hell and how they look at me like i'm a crazy person.
wait a second, i thought you were the one who believed in an angel that was cast out of heaven with half of the other angels because he wanted more power and then he founded a fiery pit where our loving and forgiving god sends us if we don't act properly. and i'm the crazy person. the devil comes and appears to us as snakes and shit convincing us to disobey god's word. yeah right. that's a good one. i guess i am crazy for not believing that.

here is what i do believe,......as far as religion goes anyway. our heaven or hell is right here on earth and up to us to find. there is a book by thomas that was excluded from the bible because he said that jesus preached that the kingdom of heaven can be attained right here on earth. now, why can't we all hear and read that book and have open-minded discussions concerning it. he was, in fact, one of the twelve disciples hand-picked by jesus, himself.

for example, if you believe there will be an armageddon or great war at the end of times, then why in the hell would we ever strive for peace. we would be going against the bible.

however, if we take all necessary measures to find world peace and harmony as a human race then there will be no wars. our own president said that he doesn't believe in evolution. what? you heard me. it is mind boggling to me, really. i could go on and on about it, but i doubt it will ever do any good so why bother. i'm fucking tired of explaining myself to you bastards, and being labeled as an atheist or god hater. i do believe in god. i believe in a god that gave us all free choice and the power to think and the responsibility to evolve. if there is a great war at the end of times, then it is our fault for destroying all that god has provided and there will be no kingdom of heaven waiting for us, only the reality of nothingness. we have the capability to achieve peace now and to begin to explore what the universe holds. the universe is continuously growing and expanding and yet some of us still believe that we are the only ones around. please.... open your minds.

i think this calls for us all to take a little mushroom trip together sometime. i'll wait until the egroup has reached 100 people and we'll all meet in the wilderness and discuss the cosmos. alright then.

okay enough of that shit. i'm sure most of you are already tired of my religious rants and i see no need to continue.

all rise. the honorable and omnipotent king bignoggan will address two questions today because he is pleased with jessica and shopboy's well thought out questions and obvious need for some advice.

"To shopboy, take pictures.

and to jessica, first of all, i am very pleased with your ability to string together such choice language. you should be proud of yourself. as for your question, i would recommend keying his car or slashing his tires, for starters. it will bring some peace of mind. however, in dealing with backstabbing cocksuckers in the workplace, it is always best to confront the offender in front of as many fellow co-workers as possible. you will form alliances and show your superiors that you are a force to be reckoned with. this should be done after keying his car, obviously.

thank you for your questions.....

you may sit. king bignoggan has spoken.

alright kids. that's about it for today. stay cool and always remember, rock and roll ain't noise pollution.

way to go cubs,

scott