alright alright alright,

how's everybody doing today. right on then.

i love each and every one of you and i hope you can all feel my warmth.

yeah whatever, we need to talk about some serious business today. this is a prerequisite post for you to read in order to continue on in your quest for truth and enlightenment in the good kingdom of bignoggan.

i have realized recently that i am misunderstood constantly and everything i say is completely confused and twisted to the point of a fistfight and i just can't stand it anymore.

this post is so you will finally come to learn what i'm all about. learn this and grasp it forever.

"i am the coolest motherfucker in the universe. i'm the coolest guy i've ever met and the coolest guy you'll ever meet. i am the grandmaster of coolness. when people talk about me as they so often do, they say, "yeah, scott's fucking cool. he's a cool dude." is what they say about me.
i can't help how cool i am, and neither can you. it is just a fundamental law of the universe. a coolness evolutionary type deal. i'm the motherfucking charles darwin of the evolutionary cool chain. get it.
i am the dean of the cool school.
fonzie said, "be cool like scott and shit".
my coolness is an evergrowing and expanding concept that cannot be fathomed by the infantile masses. my coolness doesn't even know how cool i am. it is a mystery to be studied for eons and eons.
i am so cool that sometimes my coolness overflows, and other people pick up my coolness and become cool themselves. there is nothing more cool than my coolness. i am made up of billions and billions of cells that are coolness in it's purest form. i can't not be cool. it is impossible for me to be uncool. even when i try to be uncool, i turn out even cooler. it is an enigma that cannot be explained. scientists marvel at my coolness. they cannot even form theories about why i'm so cool. it is just a universal truth.
i am cool.
cool is what i am and always will be and there's nothing anyone can to do stop it. it is already happening now and you don't even know it. do you feel the light that is my coolness? grab it, embrace it, hold it above your heads and scream, " scott is cool". the immediate wave of my coolness will knock you down because of its overwhelming power and magnitude. do not be afraid.

be cool,

scott