what up.

just got done weedeating and mowing the yard. i feel pretty good about myself. almost killed off another day.

i need to address a few business issues on this post. first of all, the site will be changing a little this week. i got sick of seeing the same ol' shit. a new date page, some new pics, and a new home page are all in store for you fucks. secondly, t-shirts will be for sale this week some time as well, along with a new p.o. box where you can mail checks and cash to, in order to purchase merch of mine. it's for all of you that are afraid of having your pathetic little identities stolen off of the web. i'll keep you updated on that, as well as let you know how to make your checks out. cool then.

i don't really have much on my mind today. something will come to me as long as i keep typing. got a camel dangling and a A&W root beer close at hand. what else do you need?

i had a great time last night on "The Michael Reichart Show". i wasn't expecting to have a good time and it turned out to be a blast. i appreciate michael, roy, amy, and patrick for having me. i'm looking forward to coming back real soon. also, thanks to everyone who listened. i hope you had as much fun listening as we did bullshitting. i seriously doubt it, though.

i was reading mcclure's rambles today and i noticed that he watched the same bullshit on cmt last night that i did. kenny chesney and john cougar melloncamp together on "Crossroads". what the fuck is going on? a sure sign that the apocolypse is near. first zztop with brooks and dunn and now kenny and johnny cougar. all of my old rock heroes are slowly but surely selling out and bending over and showing their asses on national t.v. for more money. it's repulsive and they should all be ashamed of themselves and go into hiding for the rest of their lives. they should change the name of that show from "Crossroads" to "Over the hill rock stars sadly trying to revive their careers by sharing the stage with country music no-talent suckjobs." i guess that's a little too long of a title for a t.v. program. maybe it could be, "Who Wants to Watch Two Millionaires Sucking Each OTher's Dicks For Money". yeah, that's it.

i saw the ad for it while i was watching some deal about Garth Brook's retirement. he almost cried about ten times in the interview. what a pussy. grow up garth and be a fucking man for once in your life. he was talking about his new relationship with Trisha Yearwood. yeah, new relationship. i've got news for you garth, we all know you've been fucking her for years now. he said, "she....is....my....best friend", almost crying between every word. good god garth. why don't you go do another soda pop commercial so you can feed those three fat little daughters of yours? i've got a thousand dollars that says he comes out of retirement and puts out another record in the next three years......

any takers?

i thought not.

man, i just called his daughters fat. that was just flat out mean. they're not fat. they're plump. no wait, they're big-boned. no, they're just short for their weight.

he was talking about taking them to soccer practice and shit and i was thinking, "yeah, i bet they would make good goalies". they could just lay down and take up half the fucking net. goddamn scott, that's cruel.

my mema used to say, "if you can't say something nice about someone, then don't say anything at all."

yeah, but that shit ain't no fun, mema.

my mema died last year and her husband, papa, passed away two years ago.

you pronounce that "MEE MAW and PAW PAW". my other two grandparents go by "Pappy and Grandmother. i always thought that was the coolest thing about becoming a grandparent. getting to pick out what name you'll go by. i think i'll have my grandkids call me, "KICKASS".

i can hear them now,........ "tell us another story, kickass".

"okay, gather round. once upon a time there were these little kids who kept bothering this old man while he was watching the ranger game and he turned them all into little piles of shit. yeah, because he had magic powers and shit. the end.
now, go get kickass a beer"

my pappy used to thump us in the head with his big fat finger when we were kids. that shit hurt like hell. i've been practicing thumping now for about ten years so i can do that to my grandkids. i'm gonna fuck them up.

well, the baseball playoffs start today and i'm sure you are all wondering what are my predictions. well here they are:

AL Championship Series -- Red Sox over the Yankees in 7

NL Championship Series -- Cubs over the Giants in 6

World Series ---- Red Sox over the Cubs in 6

take it to the bank.

i'm really rooting for the Cubs, though. i've been watching them since college. them and harry carey are solely responsible for my grade point average dropping below my blood alcohol level. i would cut class everyday and watch a cubs day game with a twelve pack of budweiser. i'm a cubs fan and a bud man. not necessarily in that order, though.

i wish my fucking white trash neighbors would mow their goddamn yard. the shit on the side of their house is getting so long it's growing over into our driveway. i fucking hate them and their stupid ass dog who barks all goddamn night for no apparent reason. i think i'm gonna go slip him some tylenol p.m's tonight. fucker.

they have this shitty ass boat that's been sitting in their driveway for years that has a big confederate flag on it. i think i'm gonna go over there and bitch at them tonight after a twelve pack. i'd hate to interrupt their spam casserole dinner and pull them away from their nightly tractor pull program, though. i know how much they love tractor pulls and spam. i'll probably just take a shit in their yard one night. it'll make me feel better.

well, i need a nap. i'm supposed to play basketball tonight with the boys from the wreck room. that oughta be a hoot. i'm gonna dunk on that ass and i need to get my rest.

talk to you fools tomorrow.

take it easy and shit.

fuck you alfonso,

scott