i just got back from community service and got the beatles on as loud as it can go.

i like being here alone. it's when i get my best thinking done.

what was i gonna say? oh yeah, i remember.

i'm gonna be on the radio tonight from 8:30 - 10:00 on "the michael reichart show" in dallas. it's an internet radio show and you can find it at www.the107.net. it should be a blast. they said i can drink as much as i want and cuss. i don't think i would have done it otherwise. now, you fuckers that don't know me can put a voice to these brilliant words that i take the time to type. i wanted to thank amy royer for having me. she's a cool chick.

i'm sorry i've been a little irritated on the last few posts. i get that way sometimes. it's just that you motherfuckers keep sucking every last drop of fun out of this, and i let it get to me a little. i'll try and not let it happen again. i doubt i'll be able to, though.

well, the cowboys won by 11 and i think i predicted that they would win by 10. for all you gamblers out there. i believe i'm going to start putting up my hot pick of the week on here, so you can all make money off of my football knowledge. that's just the kind of guy that i am. anything i can do to help support you fucks. consider me 1-0. shit i may go undefeated all year.

i remember when i was a kid, we had this big field behind our house and we would all ride our bikes and shit out there. anyway, one day we found this clubhouse and a huge stash of playboys. it was a treasure, indeed. we stole and rehid them, and buried them in the ground and drew a map so we could find them. playboy pirates.

when i was in fourth grade, i lived in this little town in south texas called pearsall. i was in social studies class and this girl named juanita asked to go to the bathroom and the teacher wouldn't let her. so she came back and sat down in her seat right behind me and proceeded to piss all over herself and my books. she started crying and ran out of the room leaving a yellow trail of piss. i would have felt sorry for her, but she got to go home and i was left with piss soaked books to carry around the rest of the year. just a little microcosm of my entire life. i should have known then that my life was doomed, and everyone i came into contact with would piss all over my shit and leave.

all rise. the honorable king bignoggan will speak and address goddess robyn's question.

"it was hard to narrow it down to just one song, so i have two. one for rock and roll and one for country.

the best written rock and roll song of all-time is "Like a Rolling Stone" by bob dylan. probably the first rock song to fuse poetry and rock and roll together. a tremendous put-down song which i never get tired of hearing.

the best country song of all-time is "Sunday Morning Coming Down" by kris kristofferson. i hate johnny cash's cover of it, however. willie's rendition is the best and can be found on "willie sings kristofferson". it paints a wonderful picture and is something i definitely can relate to.

"i woke up sunday morning with no way to hold my head where wouldn't hurt.

and the beer i had for breakfast wasn't bad so i had one more for dessert.

i fumbled through my closet and found my cleanest dirty shirt."

those are some incredible lyrics and have yet to be matched in country music. i love kristofferson's subtle use of alliteration. it's beautiful. okay fine."

you may sit. king bignoggan has spoken and has left the building.

okay fools. i'm going to eat now. it's feeding time. i don't know what i'm going to have yet. probably fish sticks and velveeta shells and cheese. or maybe corn dogs. or maybe grilled cheese. oh well, fuck it. i'll decide when i open the fridge.

it's another beautiful day and i think i'm going to do some yardwork. maybe not, though. i may just go out there and look at it for a while and say, "fuck it, i'll do it tomorrow."

alright peeps. keep your head up and avoid 'chump worship'. it's not that entertaining.

gimme five on the side downlow you're too slow,

scott