"how do the piggies go?"

great movie. watch it every year at christmas. fuck "the miracle of 34th street".

speaking of piggies.......

alfonso, i need to ask you a question.....

why the fuck are you reading this "garbage" right now? are you coming to feed on your slop now, because you've been sitting there in your pathetic pigsty of an existence waiting for me to respond to your fucking bullshit. you are an embarrassment to manhood and i hope you know this.

i'm not sure if you are aware of this but a parody has some humor in it. that is why it is called a parody. you get it?

i thought not.

please leave me alone, dude. go back to doing whatever it is that you do and let me be.

i have a bad heart condition and i don't wanna die concerned with you and have to charge you with manslaughter.

.........................

(30 minutes later)

okay everybody,

i'm sorry i got all worked up. i do that sometimes. i'm sorry alfonso, you are free to stay here and read if you like. i do not discriminate against the mentally challenged. why can't we just all get along?

the truth of the matter is.........

i enjoy writing this shit waaaay more than any of you motherfuckers enjoy reading it, and there's no way in hell i'm gonna let any of you bastards get me down. yeah.

i have found some harmony in my life knowing that i am not alone in this world and that there are a few out there like me. i kinda feel like brad pitt when he meets antonio banderas in "Interview with a Vampire". i am not alone.
thank god.

you guys are so lucky that i made it through my depression period. for a while there, i didn't think i was gonna come out of it. i almost quit this shit 5 or 6 times.

i just love you guys too much, though. it's so fun to hear you all's little tiny opinions. it reminds me of when i was a kid.

i've been having this theory lately that i might implement as my first action as dictator of the world. check this out....

okay, we take all of the money in the world that we spend on guns, weapons, and defense in general, and instead we spend it all on education. it's this crazy belief i have that if we all get educated as much as possible then we will realize that there's really no need to kill each other. and then we can maybe starting curing cancer and aids and shit. and maybe helping blind people to see and deaf people to hear. that would be cool, huh?
we could also maybe explore space more efficiently.

i can hear you motherfuckers now......
"what a fucking bleeding heart liberal motherfucker you are."

yeah whatever.

i'm sorry to have offended you again.


by the way, i'm talking to an imaginary person i argue with in my head from time to time. he sounds like my dad and he wears a notre dame cap.

so don't take offense.

except you alfonso, you can take all the offense you want.

moving on to another subject,

the rangers have guaranteed that they will finish dead last in their division once again.

let's all give those overpaid motherfucking disgraces a hand.

here's something i fucking hate more than almost anything i can think of.......right now anyway:

when athletes like deion sanders and michael irvin say that "We're not athletes.....we're entertainers". oh my god, does that make my fucking blood boil.....

they are what gives athletics a bad name.

hey deion,
what is entertaining is when my team wins superbowls with class and dignity. okay fuckface. as long as my team plays with class, i can do without the fucking endzone dances and autograph signing shit. alright deion. take your fucking fur coat off and shove it up your primetime ass. thank you.
for those of you wondering,
king bignoggan will not speak today. he is not feeling well and he has ordered silence throughout the kingdom for the rest of the day. he will most likely return tomorrow to answer a question from the peasants, so have them ready for consideration by tomorrow at midday.

i'm looking forward to the gig next week in amarillo. i love playing with gary wayne. it's fun no matter what. i wouldn't even go if he wasn't gonna be there. word.

i got most of my pre-production work done on the upcoming record i'm gonna do. the songs are picked out and i've recorded a copy of each of them for mcclure, scott boland, roger ray and gary wayne, and grant so they can familiarize themselves with the tunes before we go into the studio. i'm very proud of myself for doing that. i usually don't even know what songs i'm gonna do until i walk in there.
i kinda want this cd to be real good and something that i'm proud of. i've already made one cd that i fucking can't stand and i don't wanna ever do that again. i also want to get better and better on each record.

the songs are gonna be:

Last Call for the Blues
Another Weed Song
The Ballad of Patrick Defrayne
Rebel Soul
Only Lonely Me
The Lonesome Traveler
You Inspire Me
Cuntry Girl
The Talking texas Americana, Alt-county, red dirt blues
A Serial Love Song
Bumming Around
A Beggar's Advice
What are you Gonna Do?

that's it i think. 13 tunes. yeah, that's right.

well, i'm gonna let you guys go for now.

i may come back on here later this afternoon because i'm kinda in the mood to talk.

stick a needle in your eye,

scott