what the fuck is up in the place to be?

on the fucking mike is easy motherfucking me. old school.

listening to a little steve earle this morning. i have this plan concerning steve earle that coincides with my world takeover. i haven't worked it all out yet, but somehow whenever i get a gig opening for steve earle i'm going to come out drunk as balls and after my set is over and steve earle is introduced i'm going to kick his ass on stage. hell yeah. that's a great plan. then i'll be known as the guy who kicked steve earle's ass. i haven't worked out how i'm gonna get a gig opening for him yet. that's gonna be the hard part. if anyone has any ideas, let me know. alright then.

what else is going on?

i was reading the paper early this morning like i do everyday..... sitting out on the porch with a dr.pepper and a dip of snuff. that's how i do it. word.....
anyway, it said that this wednesday mars will pass as close to earth as it has in over 60,000 years. it actually said between 57,000 and 73,000 years, but who's cutting hairs here? they're within 16,000 years. nostradamus said in the 1500's that when saturn and mars are "equally fiery there would be little rain, hot wind, wars and raids".
this has gotten some people on the internet all worked up and they are predicting that wednesday is doomsday. i hope they wait until my gig in stephenville is over. i need some cash and shit........
Why is mars red, you ask?......
well, mars is red because the dirt is rich in iron giving it a reddish color. i wonder if they have 'red dirt' music on mars. we should all get together wednesday in stephenville and have a mars red dirt music gathering. we'll rock out like they haven't done in 57,000 to 73,000 years. word yo.

dude, maybe oklahoma is really mars. that is why their dirt is fucking red and shit. they are martians and to be feared. i was wondering why mcclure has those two extra nipples and shit. that is probably why his hair is going gray so soon. there must be some kind of aging coefficient between mars and earth and shit. he's probably really about 30,000 years old. i'm gonna wait until he gets all drunk and passes out and shit and take him to roswell for experiments.

well, i think that is about all i have to say today.

my apologies to thomas wolfe and doc watson,

1..2.. uh 1, 2, 3, 4......

scott