okay people,

sorry i fucking repeated myself again, but i thought i lost a post and for some reason it's showing up a day later. i think i corrected it though so i apologize.

i think it's my computer that's fucking up. my webguy and some others told me that i needed to defrag my computer.
i was like, "yeah whatever.......do i look like i know how fucking defrag a computer?" i don't think so.

so shane, kiss my ass, bitch.

i don't fucking cut and paste anything on here. i don't even know how to do that either......i just sit down and try and remember what i said because i know it was funny.......

so lick it.

so anyway..................

i've got a lot of things that i need to address on this post. i've had a long couple of days.....

first off, to anyone at the raz on the braz that was expecting to see me perform well. i'm sorry.
i choked on my own songs. it wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time that that's happened. but as i got introduced by brett watts, "i'm different".

i did have fun at the campfire scene, though. of course, by then i was able to drink about a twelve pack and felt much better about myself. i wanted to thank mike calloway, cody braun, and roxanne hilley for letting me play at you guy's site for a while. i had a blast. also, thanks for the ride in the golf cart to my tent at 5:00 in the morning..........i don't think i would have made it walking.

i went with my good friends, jerry elmore, cici and alan. alan had one of the best doo doo lines i've heard in a while.
he had to take a shit and he said, "i'm gonna go take the browns to the super bowl"............that's fucking awesome. i haven't heard one that good in years.

well, i had a good time at the ridglea theatre last night. i played a song swap with jon floyd and we managed to get through the night pretty well. it was the first time i had met him, and he did a great job........quick on his feet that kid.

i'm gonna be laying low today and get rested up for the cruise. i was gonna go back to the raz on the braz deal but i'm just too fucking tired. it's hard work being this fucking cool sometimes. i don't know if ya'll can relate or not, but it takes a lot out of me from time to time.

you guys don't need to forget my birthday coming up next thursday either. i completely expect to come home from the cruise and see piles and piles of gifts at my door from you motherfuckers. i just keep giving and giving and giving and all you do is take. you should all be ashamed of yourselves.
i know that you all have some of my cd's that you've burned for your friends and other copies you burned for yourself, so you could keep one copy in your car and one in the house, and probably dozens and dozens of others that you've burned that you have yet to give me a fucking red cent for and it's about high time you fucking leeches of life start giving me some dough.........i'm fucking serious bitches.

that reminds me of a bumper sticker i read about on my buddy, kevin miller's site.

it said, "DON'T BE A SEXIST.........BITCHES HATE THAT".

or something to that effect. that's a fucking good one. his site is www.kevmo.com. check it out sometime if you have time in between burning off all my cd's for free, you suckasses......

my poison ivy is just about all gone. it's about fucking time. that shit sucks so bad it's unbelievable. i wouldn't wish that on any of you..........well, maybe some of you.

which brings us to the topic of religion,

although i don't prescribe to any one religion, i am fascinated with all of them. i've been checking into buddism lately. that seems like a pretty cool one. alot of meditating and shit.........that's kinda what i do anyway so i thought, "fuck it man. i'll give it shot for a while." if i shaved my head, i might even look a little like buddha.

i was watching this program on the history channel or something the other day about noah's ark. several scientists and explorers have led many expeditions up to mount ararat to see if they can find that big boat some drunk built thousands of years ago. it's funny though, no one has found it yet.........

i thought, "huh, that's kinda weird. did it ever dawn on any of you fucking idiots that there might have never been one in the first fucking place?" .....

i'm gonna paraphrase the bible a bit here but i think it says something like:

"and God spoke to Noah, as he was getting shitfaced under a tree and said, "i'm gonna fucking kill all these motherfuckers except you and your family because i kinda dig you. so you need to get off your drunk ass and build a big ass boat so you can fit two of every species of animal on there too and then you and your family are completely responsible for keeping the human race going".

and then Noah replied, "does that mean we have fuck each other, too. wouldn't that be incest?"

and God spake in reply, "yeah, sort of. but it's okay this one time........
i really wanna fucking flood these motherfuckers. they've really pissed me off this time"..........


i don't know how accurately i paraphrased, but i think it's pretty close........


man, that boggles my mind........people looking for an ark.
can you imagine if you went to school and in your science class they taught that all of the species of animals were gathered by some dude three thousand years ago.
and to think that we had to fight to allow teachers to teach evolution in the classroom.

i actually heard one guy tell me, "uh whatever man. i don't believe in evolution. i ain't no ape."

yeah dude, you are an enlightened redneck. we're not saying you're an ape, just a few rungs above one.

how do you not believe in evolution? it's fucking obvious that everything has evolved and is still evolving. it's a process, motherfuckers. read a book every once in a while or just watch some educational t.v., if you can squeeze it in between jerry springer and girls gone wild videos, you moron.

okay, i'm sorry to be going off like this. i got myself a little worked up. i might need to chill out a while.

(after two cigarettes and a root beer)


alright, where was I?

oh yeah, legalizing marijuana.

i don't understand how marijuana is not legal. you can go into the health store and buy ephedrine that is practically pure speed. you can go into numerous liquor stores and convenience stores and buy alcohol, which is way worse for you than marijuana. you can buy cigarettes and tobacco laced with as much nicotine as they can put in there to get you addicted and yet i can't sit outside and smoke a joint on my porch...........at least not legally.

well fuck that. somebody needs to do something about this. i think if we all ban together we can get a movement going........... it'll be kinda hard though because we'll all be stoned and shit. it makes it hard to focus on movements and shit when you can't remember what you just said ten seconds ago.

okay then, i think i've said enough.

i'm audi 5000 G,

scott