good fucking morning,

last night at my gig at the wreck room, someone asked me after i was finished, "why are you so bitter? is that just an act?"........

yes it is..... i'm really filled with joy and completely overwhelmed with satisfaction. i love everything about my career and with corporate entertainment america. it is mentally and spiritually uplifting to me and i just randomly decided to act bitter for good ratings. my happy guy act wasn't working out for me.

you would all be amazed at some of the things i get asked and have to deal with. it is mind boggling. i don't know how i've made it this far, really. my gig in stephenville was double booked and heath wrote it down in the wrong book and forgot i was coming, so there was absolutely no promotion done whatsoever. he was very apologetic and shit and i said, "don't worry about it. i'm used to this." i did get an hour set before 'back porch mary' took the stage and this drunk cowgirl chick came up to the stage and challenged me to a fight in the parking lot. i declined her invitation, but i'm pretty sure i could have taken her. i asked her if she was on the great divide egroup. there seems to be a few girls on there who like to threaten oklahoma "ass whoopins" and i thought they might have migrated into stephenville. i immediately dedicated "Cuntry Girl" to this drunk woman. she seemed to forgive me.

i don't know if any of you have seen it, but there is a new Toby Keith ford truck commercial. there's like multiple toby keith's in it. it made me have a horrible nightmare. if there's anything worse than toby keith, it is multiple toby keith's. i dreamed that hundreds and hundreds of toby keith's were storming into my house and coming down the chimney and through the windows and shit trying to stick things up my ass. i woke up in a cold sweat and drank a bottle of Nyquil and chewed up a couple of ferrell's vicatin. i just now woke up.

i'll be in granbury tomorrow at grump's again. i hope it goes as well as last time. i've got a new order of bignoggan t-shirts in and i'm hoping they sell like hotcakes. i'm gonna try and get these shirts up on the merch page soon and you can all order them. i've got a couple of different designs, but i only have one in right now. if some of you would start buying my cd's instead of burning them off, i might have enough money to order some of the other one, but no. you guys only think about yourselves.

"one of these days everything i want's gonna be mine, and that's a big ol' brew and a little ol' you".

do any of you find it a little hypocritical that while merle haggard was singing, "we don't smoke marijuana in muskogee", he was doing about 1000 dollars worth of blow a day? that always rubbed me the wrong way just a tad. at least he never did fucking ford truck commercials and shit.

i was trying to explain to my father the other day why i hate it when so called artists do commercials and he just wasn't getting it. i'm not sure if any of you understand my logic either, but i can assure you that i am right on this issue. the concept of art itself is the opposite of commercialism. as soon as you start hocking dr. pepper or gap jeans or ford trucks, you no longer can call yourself an artist. you are a whore and a schill and that's that. name a commercial with bob dylan or neil young in it........ you can't can you. why do you suppose that is, my students? ......well the answer is, because they are artists and not corporate whores. period, the end. there will be no further discussion on this topic.

i do however, allow musicians to do beer commercials. that is the only product they are allowed to help sell. my rule has been passed and you are all to help me enforce it. alright then.

i was watching the mtv music video awards the other day and i had a few thoughts on the subject of music videos......first off, they suck ass.

the entire idea of having a video for a song seems to weaken the song and also is very condescending to the audience. i always thought good songs encourage us to imagine for ourselves without having some shitty ass video director's concept shoved down our throats. again, that's just my opinion. fucking video directors...
they can't get a job directing a real movie, so they fill their pockets full of cash doing a video for a 3 minute song. country music videos are by far the worst, though. it's like if you're going to make a video, you have three choices to choose from. first, you can do a live concert video. secondly, you can lip sync your song while you stand in a field of grass or lean against a tree with a guitar or if you're a woman, you can walk along a beach showing as much cleavage and leg as possible and possibly have rain pour down on you. or finally, you can have some shitty actors and actresses portray your song while you sing about it as the narrator. the only thing i hate about videos more than the videos themselves is the veejays. they are all little carson daly wannabes. carson daly......there's another whore who should be publicly mamed. all of these people remind me of the guys in high school who ran for student council and were in drama class. guys who were just good looking enough that they didn't have to get real jobs and just non-talented enough that they couldn't write or act or sing worth a shit.

it's like that show on cmt, "in with the band". what the fuck is going on with that bullshit? i saw one where this guy in arlington won a chance to meet chris cagle, who happens to be from fort worth. this mechanic who won the prize said, "the thing i like about chris cagle is that he's down to earth and real." oh my god, are you fucking kidding me. ANYWAY, chris cagle took him down to the stockyards and showed him the white elephant where he "cut his teeth". i wish it was where he cut his throat. but ANYWAY, cagle gave this dude a guitar and told him to practice everyday. that's all we need around here. another mechanic playing guitar.
i was wishing that the mechanic gave chris cagle all his tools and told him to practice everyday because that is what he will be doing in a few years. nothing ever works out like i want it to.

well, i guess that is enough for today. i think i've probably ruffled enough feathers today.

i think i hear the phone ringing. it's probably chris cagle wanting to whoop my ass or something.

cya,

scott