good morning fuckers,

just sitting here drinking a nestea cool lemon iced tea with a cig danglin' wondering what the hell i'm gonna do with the rest of the day.

went to see ol' wacky mac and travis linville play last night at the horseman. mac had a cold but still put on a great show. he even got me up there for a few songs, which i always appreciate because he doesn't have to do that. i always enjoy watching travis pick. he's one of the most tasteful pickers around and it was a treat to have him play with me on a few songs.

what else? i had a great gig in granbury at grump's on saturday. it came at a good time because i needed one in a bad way. i sold over 35 cd's. that's right motherfuckers, 35. i wanted to thank collier and jennifer for thinking of me and getting in touch with me. it was greatly appreciated. i'll be back there on august 30th.

i thought i might give you guys a list of my top five all-time most hated people list. here they are:

1. Reba Mcintire
2. Rush Limbaugh
3. Jimmy Swaggart
4. O.J.
5. Toby Keith

That's just off the top of my head, and as i'm sure you are all well aware, i hate a lot of people. Reba tops the cake though. her and her fake ass hickville accent can cause me to puke blood and send chills down my spine. what a fake bitch! i was watching some country music awards show and some idiot got her to be the host and emcee. if there is a hell for me, it has to be sitting and listening to reba mcintire tell jokes. i listened to her for a while and i had to hurry to the bathroom to diarrhea. i barely made it.

lately, i have noticed that people are fascinated by the fact that i played college football. and that i played with barry sanders. my college football career somewhat mirrored my entire life. when i first got to oklahoma state we were 10-2 my first two years and nationally ranked. i think we finished as high as #6. then we got slammed with probation for five years for paying players money. not me of course. and then i watched as we quickly became a laughing stock and my senior year we went 0-10-1. that's right folks. we didn't win a fucking game. now if that is impressive to you, then so be it. but i fucking hated it. i did hear some good jokes that year though. like someone said we should change our names to the Oklahoma State Possums because we play dead at home and get killed on the road. pretty funny.

well, i think i've mentioned that i'm recording sometime in the fall and several people have asked me if i'm going to be cutting "Cuntry Girl".......and yes i am. a lot of people have said this song is vulgar and offensive and i should never play it again and that it has the most obscene language they have ever heard. well, i'd like to address this issue if i may......

first off, fuck that.

secondly, i think the song is funny. possibly the funniest song i've ever written. if it is offensive to you then don't fucking buy it and you shouldn't be reading this anyway, you pussy. get off of my site right now.

thirdly, i was watching "curb your enthusiasm"s the other day, which is one of my favorite shows, and i was noticing how much larry david cusses on there. there was even one episode where he called a guy a cunt, which was one of the best episodes mind you. now, this show won a emmy for outstanding comedy series, but i can't get a gig in my own hometown and i'm regarded as some kind of an outlaw songwriter because i like to say fuck a lot. you all need to grow up. it's not like i'm playing the song at church camp youth rallies or something. i'm gonna do it my way. fuck it. i didn't decide to become a songwriter so i could write what everybody wanted me to write. whatever then.

it reminds me of when i saw kid rock and hank jr. on crossroads on cmt or some shit like that. anyway, hank jr. sang this song to kid rock called, "you can't say the F word in country music". yeah whatever bocephus. you haven't had a hit song in fifteen years and that one sucked major ballsacks anyway. this ain't dallas and this ain't dynasty and born to boogie. why don't you try to write a decent song hank, like whiskey bent and hell bound, and quit whoring yourself out on national t.v. with kid rock who says fuck every chance he gets. what happened to your nutsack anyway hank? you used to be one of my heroes and now your a little sellout doing monday night football intros with the same ass old song you've been singing for twenty years. please step down off your high horse and quit your preaching or else i'm gonna go hunting tonight lord, and i'm taking a bunch of guns to shoot all of you corporate whores.

my mother told me that i should quit bashing different singers and songwriters on my website because it makes me look jealous and bitter. bitter maybe, but jealous. i think not. if i was toby keith or kenny chesney, i would do us all a favor and put a pistol in my mouth and blow out what little brains i had. does that sound bitter? i hope not. i have nothing but gladness in my heart and warmth in my soul for kenny and toby. i was just kidding. i love to see kenny slap his own ass and sing she thinks my tractor sexy. it makes me proud to be an american.

well, that is about all i have today. i hope you enjoyed it. i sincerely appreciate everyone that mentions reading my thoughts to me. it makes me feel special that people are digging them. please try and not take it too seriously though. they are for entertainment purposes only and also to give me something to do in the morning. i promise i won't ask any of you to drink any kool-aid.

oh yeah, i forgot. i saw the movie, "the life of david gale" the other day. it was pretty good. it dealt with the death penalty, which i'm sure you are all aware by now, i'm highly in favor of. not only am i in favor of it, i think we should expand it. for example, we could put fake want ads in the paper for phone solicitors and hold fake interviews and whoever showed up wishing to become phone solicitors gets hanged on national t.v.. or here's an even better idea. we could have a giant WWF event at the Astrodome or something and install electric chairs in all of the seats and when everyone is there and seated, we have a huge electrocution party to be seen on pay per view. that would be awesome, dude. just think of all the ignorance we could eliminate at once. we would speed up the evolutionary process tenfold. it's just a thought though. i could be wrong, but i doubt it.

i'm listening to the burtschi brothers right now. i traded jaime kelley a couple of my cd's for a couple of theirs. jaime plays bass in mcclure's band now but he wrote several of the songs for the burtschi's. i highly recommend "Ain't being treated right". i can relate.

alright people. that's it for real dough. have a good week and say fuck a lot.

suck it,

scott